Sunday, September 30, 2007

The tick box for possible partners

I know now who to avoid when dating but how do I identify possible future partners. I never did continue the internet dating, I found it a bit too intrusive and impersonal. If you are like me and enjoy social situations and the actual act of talking, the internet can be rather limiting. Unless you date a friend or work colleague, when meeting someone new the initial connection is likely to be that of physical attraction and little more. The majority of people are confident, funny and uplifting in social environments especially if large quantities of alcohol are involved and, once numbers have been exchanged, you now need to establish whether you are actually compatible. The following options can prevent time wasting on those all important 'getting to know each other' dates:

1. Prior to the date email the person requesting a full medical and family history, vital statistics and future aspirations

2. Ask on the date a series of interview questions with a therapist standing nearby analysing the answers

3. Take all you close family and friends on the date letting them assess possible future candidates

OK , this in itself means you will be avoided so we need to look at a subtler approach. I met a girl several years ago, we had one of those fantastic dates then she treated me terribly. I never saw her again but she played on my mind. I spoke to my therapist about the one night stand saying she had ticked all the ideal partner boxes. The therapist asked what boxes did she tick? and my response was she was attractive and had a similar job to me. So now we know I am looking for someone who treats me badly, is attractive and works in a large company! Not someone who is loving, kind, respectful and (if you have followed the other blogs) has the 'Wink Factor', the vital trait for me is we can bore each other rigid talking about business! Why did I waste so much thought space over her? Oh yes, because she rejected me..

My ideal partner tick box
  • Open, confident, loving, caring, stable, with a fantastic sense of humour - all those positive traits I find in my closest friends
  • Spontaneous, to wake up on Saturday morning be dragged out of bed and then taken on an adventure
  • Someone who can be trusted with my emotions, they won't play games or manipulate
  • Respectful of my bubble! That sounds really dodgy but isn't. A friend refers to an individual's life and all it encompasses as a bubble and whoever you allow into that bubble should treat it with respect or they are out
  • God damn sexy in every aspect. Neither boyish or overly feminine but just them and confident with it
  • And for me they need to be 100% gay. You'll be surprised how many bi people there are out there, they will probably find a man, leave you and get married. If they don't you're likely to send yourself mad worrying that they will

Unless your tick box is unrealistic and only fictional characters can fulfil the requirements then trust your gut instinct when it comes to starting a new relationship. If they do not tick the majority of your 'carefully thought out' partner boxes they are probably not right for you.

1 comment:

Betsy said...

This is great info to know.